Leafrust

Imagine a Single Leaf in a tree
If it fall would it be free?
If it stay would one can see
A lonely leaf that has no right to be free..

Have you been happy this day?
A joyful heart I had always Envy..
You who had some friends to comfort your heart,
Mine is a single curse where everything had start..

You who had been not known
The only thing I wish to own
And yet you had been born
To a place where I could not return..

How long had I been like this,
This memory I could not dismiss.
Years may had past when I first look at you,
And still here I am who don't know what to do..

Such a fool to understand my soul
much worst is my hunger like a ghoul,
And yet I wish not to eat,
Since it will show my one and only defeat..

To smile with an empty feeling,
And laugh with a heart that is crying.
A single soul not worth remembering,
A child I am born with selfish misunderstanding..

I live a world I had known
And yet one self can't be shown
Since it is created by my own
A world filled with lies and unknown..

Why has always been my question,
And No has been my Inspiration
But still my heart has no objection
To a life that is near once destruction..

Would It End If one is gone and Disappear,
Or rather continue with the punishment of a reaper.
A punishment that has no pain nor suffering,
Just an eternal darkness of everything..

It has been 2 months since I write something at my lonely blog..
well I had been busy lately I got my self I job that best fit my computer time..
I can now log in 4-6 hours at the price of half since I am just using pc inside an internet cafe..
I also became I quiet addicted in reading manga..
well The reason I blog today is to write some poem because a special someone is having a birthday.. as always I feel writing a poem about her..
Even though my English is Bad.. hey I am doing my very best here hahaha..