MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL~

First of all I felt bad not writing anything at Christmas day..
I didn't had a chance to face the PC yesterday because of my empty Christmas..
It was pretty much boring and not worthwhile had happened..
We did have a Christmas party at church but that also ended worst..
Not much people came and because of it there were less to celebrate..

Today well be a celebration about families..
But My mother is away and I we hope she comes back today..
I felt bad yesterday since I had not receive any gifts..
Both of my sister receive some, why I am the only one who has none..

As always I'll make a Christmas Poem..
The only gift I could give to myself on this special day..

An Empty Presents

Its Christmas day and what had I receive?

A gifts without meaning that easily leave.

Its Christmas day and what should I expect?

A boring celebration out of obligation and respect.

In Christmas day can everyone laugh and be merry

Even if the world struggles and many felt sorry

In Christmas day our stomach had never been empty

Even others tried there best to live a life filled with worry

Have we forgotten the True meaning of Christmas day?

Is it just for us to be happy and attend many party.

Have we lost the true value of giving and receiving gifts?

Should it be expensive and filled with unnecessary things.

This Christmas giving a gift is the only things that we must do

A kind of gift that could be merry and true..

Not an empty Gift filled with this worlds emptiness

But a Gift that is so little but enough to share our happiness.

-Leafrust

Well that's it for my Christmas Poem..
This would remind me that this year Christmas has never been merry..
Instead it was pretty much dull and had increase my life's worry..
But who am I to say that Christmas is a bad day..
Maybe for me but for the world this day is a great day..
So all I can say is MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE~.

9th day and also the Final Day

Finally no more waking up at 2:30AM..
Its the End of Mesa De Gallo and honestly speaking I sleep through out the mass..
So No Idea what the mass was about at the Final day..(stupid me) X3

So now Lets take a wish...

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10!

MY wish is to remember the wish I wanted to wish..
If I remember it let me remember it next year so that I can wish for it =)

Tomorrow would be Christmas~ but I am not that excited...
And today I made my stomach ache eating many food early in the morning..
They prepared a lot of chicken right after the mass..
Who Am I not to eat those taste Chickens..

8th Day of SG and also my B-Day~

What a birthday..
First my mother run away or didn't come home.*no big deal she has been a problem in the start, ruined half or maybe all of my life..
Not much to say but my mother is really what you call an easy go where..
at an age of late 40 she is competing with my sisters in terms of passions and cloths..
Spent most of her money buying her own stuff and don't care if her children has some needs..

The mass today was about John the baptist birth..*not much to say about it..
It was fun at church everyone said happy birthday at me that made me a little bet embarrass..
I didn't receive any gift as usual.. all greetings and some money(and the money isn't that big to buy something nice).. I'm not expecting any party or celebration at home since mother just run away how can we celebrate..

As usual I make my self a poem as a gift..

Living a Dead Life

Am I dead because I no longer care about life?

Isn't it unfair to always lose on life's fight.

Am I dead since I no longer think of living

Since tomorrow is always dark as an evening..

Can I live if my Heart has been severely wounded

Not even a saint nor a doctor could get it healed.

Can I live if my soul had been so many times forsaken

In times of Trials it sleeps and can't be awaken

Every day is like an endless walk in an empty cemetery

I can't look at peoples face because they all look scary

Every day is like a nightmare in a dream of nothingness

An empty dream that has no hope of forgiveness

How I wish to lay asleep inside a coffin and never be awake

But I am a coward who's own life is hard to forsake.

How I wish that someone could make me dead

But one is strong when nothing could be save.

I no longer had any reason to keep on living

Since my life now has lost its meaning.

I no longer care of others and also to myself

Since I hated my self and can't love others for it.

Let me see that very little light in my world of darkness

It is the only hope I had in my life filled of emptiness.

Let me keep this little courage I had found in deaths valley

It is the only strength I had to hide all my life's worry

Finally I wanted to make a wish on this day

That let me live for another day without feeling sorry

For Had I not live a life filled with misunderstandings and guilt

And for it I hope I can forgive my self and let it all forget..

-Leafrust

Its quite long but its OK since its my birthday anyway..
Its 2 days before Christmas..
Let this day remind me always that My birthday is one of my worst day ever..

7th Day

I'm kind of in a rush so I'll make it short..
I was pissed off at the church to day..
But after that there's nothing new..
Tomorrow is my Birthday *sigh* hope I can Skip that day..

6th Day Of Simbang Gabi

only 2 days before my B-day then
3 days before Noeche Buena and
Finally 4 days before Christmas..

Not much to expect although other people would find this day exciting.
I find it dull since I don't like this kind of events (especially my B-day)..

Ordinary days of Simbang Gabi unlike yesterday..
It was a total disaster yesterday and I couldn't count the unlucky things that happened..

And as usual no more people in the streets..
I wonder maybe only few can complete it XD..

5th day of SImbang Gabi( unlucky day!?)

First of all it was raining in here...
Then no car so we walk for 30 min..
Very cold even if you wear a jacket..
And very sleepy, my left eye hurt pretty much..

And something happen at church that I don't want to put..
We all got annoyed by it including my father..
After that it was still raining like cats and dogs..

The worst part was another fucking brown out for 5mins..
Damn those scum electric companies..
It ruin my day..
And I pay the original price even though I just use the PC for 8min?(I think its 5min)
Fuck the flat rate u stupid Sequel in OBRERO taking advantage of the brown out!!
damn I am really pissed off today my day was greatly ruined!!

4th Day of Simbang Gabi

"Mesa De Gallo" - I just learn that its Gallo not Galeo since it means roster XD

IDK what the mass is about today since I wasn't listening (To bad) or honestly speaking I was a little bet sleepy..
but it was surprising to see a lot of people in the church and in the streets walking right after the mass..
well its Sunday so I guess people usually go to church during this day..

On the other hand we got lucky a friend of my dad pass us by and give us a ride all the way through the church..

Still All thanks to Mr.Alarm clock for waking me up and I did wake up in fact I was the one who wake the others up by making some noise haha.. XD

3rd Day of SG

Its the 3rd day and like yesterday , I only see few people attending the mass.
The mass today is about the hesitation of Joseph to marry Mary as his wife.
Not much to say but I wanted to Shout out loud the Stupid BROWN OUT!!
Damn those corrupt electric Companies.. There doing this to earn more money..

Hope this day would be like the other day..
I would like to say Thank you to Mr.Alarm Clock for waking us early..

2nd Day of Simbang Gabi~

2nd Day of Simbang Gabi A.k.a (Mesa De Galeo)

Today's mass was about the list of descendants up to Joseph which was Jesus father..
But the thing that captures my attention was the people attending mass..
Yesterday was the 1st day and the street and almost all the churches here was crowded by people..
But today I only see few of them.. What happened to those people?
My father said that most of those people attend the first day out of curiosity while the others believe that the 1st day was the day where you could take a wish..

Anyway we woke up the same time (all thanks to the alarm clock*thank you Mr.clock)
I attend the 2nd day good luck for tomorrow.~

BTW I didn't sleep much or did I really sleep.. I remember that I close my eyes around 12am the next thing I know it was 2 am then after that Mr.clock woke me up XD

SIMBANG GABI (Mesa De Galeo?)

Simbang Gabi(Mesa De Galeo?) idk if this is what it is in spanish..

Lol 1st day of December 16,2010..
I wonder why many people well wake up early just to attend the mass..
Maybe because they are just being relegious or maybe because of the old legend saying that if you completed the 9 mass then your wish well be granted..
For me last year I did complete it and guess what my wish did come true..
Although it is quite simple my wish last year is that I can still live for the next year..
And yeah I am still Freaking alive..

We woke up at 3:00Am(with the help of the Alarm Clock) then we walk for 30min to our mini church(since theres still no cars around so early) and the mass started around 4:00AM..

I wonder If I can survive the next 8 days but I know I can do it since I have no reason not to..
I wonder what well be my wish for this year..?
Good Morning..~ Time check 7:00AM XD

Wtf? have I been doing this year?

First thing first not much of a change same old zombie like last year..
Its already December but I ain't expecting much although my B-day is in December I kind of hated it the worst day for me...
Why the hell am I writing now?(hell?) no good reason I just realize how foolish my existence was.
No matter how hard I try I could never accomplish anything(did I ever try in the first place)
Been watching a lot of Anime and Movie's lately.. And been a Manga Addict the whole year..
I can't even remember the title's much less the characters. I can't remember how many manga's I already read.

Well I finish I nice Anime today and was hoping for a 2nd season although I am not expecting to much of a continuation of it..

http://anime-media.com/highschool-of-the-dead-episode-12/#comment-212650

You might wonder what so good about this? well first of all everyone likes the idea of the End of the world.
We might not admit it but its our only escape through reality. Although not all agreed but you must consider that not all people live a good and reasonable life. Some are like me while others are much worse. I am still lucky that I hadn't yet committed Suicide (I'm still weak and Afraid).
Watching this give us an illusion of how the world might end and trust me this is one of the favored genre. I mean the world could end in natures way or nuclear war or something like that.
This Zombie thing well I kind of lazy to explain since I know each has different way of viewing it.

I been reading a lot of Japanese related articles lately listening to there musics.
I am still playing browse base online game like Kungfu online but most of the games are inside Facebooks application..

The first Blog in 2010 in I wrote it at the last month!
I don't know how much I can hold on or how much my state of mind can handle so I think I well start writing although I am a pretty boring person I well try my very best (Go Leafy)!

BTW I LOVE JAPAN without it Anime and Manga would never exist!