GoodBye 2010

I was wondering what my life has been in 2010..
Then again I am still dead at that year so I think there is no life story to share..
Although I said I was dead that doesn't really mean lying in a grave..
rather what I mean was my life has been dull and null that there's nothing to tell..

As far as my memory could remember..
My life has been like A B C and D...
A I wake up and sleep
B I go to an Internet cafe and stayed for a few hours
C I eat and drink
D I watch TV or read something..

Spent all of my time inside the house sleeping..
I think I sleep 12-15 hours a day..*exaggerating?
I read a lot of novels..
I write a lot of story if I run out of novels to read..
In short I had live a life In my own Imaginary world..

I tried to go to work at my old boss back at 2009..
I thought I could handle it but after staying for a month I realize I still fear them..
In the end I failed a friend , that friend was my boss son..
I was hoping to use what I earned in there to find a more suitable job but
back at the house various problems occurred so I  quit..
It was a psychological warfare both in my home and at work..
I think If I hadn't quit I might kill somebody..
But the truth is much more deeper and I think I shall keep it within my self..

What else had I forgotten... come on think leaf think D think F..think 3x
 I watch a lot of anime's and read tons of Manga's..
What else...
I think there's nothing more left to tell or it is just that a lot happened
but since I had my own psychological problem I think I rather not tell..

Last but not the less I was hoping to die this year..
I mean I wanted to die this year like what I wanted to happened in 2009
but again I think I couldn't die yet..
I had always living a hopeless life but lately I found some little reason to continue..
I though it was foolish but then again maybe 2010 wasn't really that bad because
It was the year I had reason against my self and found a little hope within..
I rarely think negative now unlike the past that each of my action I always think negative results..
Its like a Pandora within me was open and I realize that despite my world of emptiness filled with darkness..
There was a little bright light.. so little that it can easy be ignored but when I look clearly to it..
I realize it might not be enough but it is something to start with..
I had always ask my self were to start after I give up on everything..
Within the confusion inside my self I had always been lost..
But maybe now that I was giving something to start with..
Although it might failed anytime and I might give up again..
This little fragile hope that I had found..
I well do my best not to break it..
And If I ever break it..
Then in 2011 I might again seek another reason to continue living..